THE ETERNAL FIRE (02-26-1999)
The air was filled with the utter shame of guilt.
The man was alone.
Alone for all eternity.
The man had no tears to shed, for it was always this way.
His body is like a wall that will not let anything come to pass.
The face, shrouded in darkness, hides a dark, disturbing soul that is in torment.
The man's eyes are soft, and glow a fiery blue.
The mourners dance on his grave for they are evil.
They stand in front of the doors of paradise and laugh, an evil, cruel laugh.
The laugh of the devil himself.
They pretend to mourn him.
They are fools, for they say unto others that he committed a crime.
The ultimate crime... living.
He would never commit a crime, for he had once before and lived to regret it.
The man knew the truth about his "mourners", but could not speak.
For they had silenced him before he had a chance of shouting out to the world, The truth.
Now as he lie in his eternal darkness, his family and friends mourn for him.
Past lovers mourn him as well.
As the music of sorrow begins and he is taken to his eternal resting place.
The death march has begun.

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C' EST LA VIE
They say I am not like any other.
They make me an outcast, but who are they?
They are foolish, for I am a man of words, not strength.
I live my life in peace, but it is made hell, yet I am not afraid.
In all my years, there is one thing I have learned:
"No matter how your life goes, it is sometimes going to be hellish.
That is why we are human; we are not perfect."
So next time life gets you down remember:
"Life is hell, get used to it."

--- Are we a perfect people, I should think not.

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THE GREAT LIGHT
The darkness sweeps in like an evil force.
It causes an endless fear of an unseen presence stalking you at night.
The light conquers the dark.
It destroys all fear, and comforts you in times of need.
The darkness lives for fear.
It comes into your dreams, and fills your thoughts with evil.
It makes you do things you would never do.
The dark one seeks your soul.
Do not let it enter.
Fill your soul with the light.
Have faith, and trust in the great light.
For he will never leave you.
The light always pierces the darkness.
Never forget that.

---Dedicated to those of you who see the light. Share it to all the world.

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THE JOYOUS LIGHT

It seems just like yesterday.
I work my butt off, and what would I get in return?
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
The hate they have for me is intense, but I am not in fear.
I fear them not.
Their threats do no harm.
They are fools.
The power of God is great, and they are no match for the light.
They try to hold me down, but they bind me not, for I am forever free.
My love is greater than their hate.
I no longer am held back.
I have been set free.
I am in joy, and this joy lasts forever.

--- No chains can hold me down. I have seen the light, and the light conquers the dark.

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L' AMOUR
Someone once told me that love strikes when you least expect it.
I have come to think it true for me.
I had met her a long time ago, and even though we seemed to hate each other, I had a huge crush on her even then.
I, a middle class guy, and her, an upper class girl, not exactly a match you would think would work.
I went on with my life even though she was there, but I never stopped thinking about her.
Then when I thought it could never happen, we became friends.
Just as our friendship was budding, I lost her.
I thought she was gone forever.
Five years past, and I had new friends and girlfriends, but I still thought of her, then when I was looking up in the school office, a girl caught my eye.
She looked somehow familiar, yet I could not place a name to her beautiful face.
She recognized me as well, and the instant she told me who she was, I fell in love with her all over again.
It was her, it was really her, after all these years of not knowing, she was finally back in my arms again.
I thought she was beautiful in those early days, but now she is stunning.
We talked of times long forgotten, and after a few days of remembering times long past, we walked hand and hand.
That period of my life is the greatest I have seen yet, for she is still in my heart and shall remain so forever.
So heed the advice I was given long ago.
"When you least expect it, love will strike without warning."

--- To Megan. You shall always be in my heart no matter of what happens.

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BELOVED
My heart was shattered, but it has healed.
All my life, never before have I seen so much passion in those eyes.
We stood alone in the darkness of the night.
Our faces were just inches apart, and we talked how our hearts were in the same motion.
She watched me ever so closely, but before I could say a word, our lips touched.
We just stood there in the dark of the night in pure bliss.
Our love, at that moment, was together for the first time, and I am happy.
My life is forever changed.
She has taught me how to love again.
Our thoughts are one.
She is my beloved.

--- To Andrea. You helped me duct tape my heart back together. Thank you.

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DARKNESS
Who is there?
The darkness is deep and I cannot see you.
I hear you, but where are you?
Does not my mind play tricks upon me?
You are there, but where?
Am I insane?
For I hear something not there, Yet I know it is stalking me, watching my every move.
If it attacks, I see it not.
I shall forever be damned to the depths of hell.
You hear me not, but take joy of my screams.
You need not be afraid, For you are the hunter, And I am forever the hunted.
Strike me down now, and take away this forever pain... Living.

--dedicated to the victims of the Columbine High School Shooting.

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PRAISE THE LIGHT
People say my words are great.
My thoughts are my words.
I am just a simple poet.
Poetry is my future.
I know not of my future, but I pray for wonders.
I was living in the past, but now I am living my future.
Cupid's arrow has struck me down, and I am in joy. Just as I felt my life was empty; it was just in transition.
I have survived my fear, and it shall never haunt me again.
I have broken my chains that have held me down for so long.
I was in darkness, but the light now shines in my eyes.
My future is not bleak.
Only in my mind I was trapped, but no more.
I am not afraid of death, for I know that in the end it will come for me.
Until it does, my life shall be a mystery, but it will be filled will happiness.
The light is protecting me, and my future, and I am happy.

--- Blessed are all who fear the lord, who walk in his ways. Psalms 128:1

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ALONE
I have seen nothingness, and I have been to the far regions of hell, for I am now forever alone.
It matters not that I am alone, but the reason why.
It seems like a long time, yet I know it has been minutes.
I was in pure joy, and now I am in pure sadness.
I have traveled far, and I have seen things unseen for ages.
I see the light, yet I am in darkness.
I have stumbled on my long walk, And I am no longer a man of wisdom, But a foolish man with nothing for me to claim my own.
I do not understand what had gone so wrong, to have caused me so much pain.
Why?
The only question that I can speak, Yet I get no answers, and it shall forever remain so for the rest of my cold life.
I am who I am, and I love my life no matter how horrible it seems.
I have traveled this far without fear, then why do I fear my life so?
The answer, I believe, will never come forth.
I shall forever be damned to this eternal darkness.
May God help me, for I have sinned, and this sin is not forgivable.
Help me.

---I have no fear anymore. I am no longer afraid.

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MOVING ON
It is very hard for me to stand aside and watch the one I have loved for so long kissing another man.
It makes me feel like a street rat.
I have expressed my love to her, but she hears me not.
The man she loves is in her arms, and I am but an annoying fly that should be killed.
I see them standing there, but as I walk by I do not say hello, for it pains me.
She has broken my heart, yet I go on.
I have love for another.
One who has taught me how to love again.
My heart was shattered, but with God, and my Juliet I have taped my heart together.
My Juliet has helped me through my times of trouble.
I love her deeply, and a fire sparkles in her eyes.
That fire is God, and I have that same light in my eyes as well.
We stand on a bridge over the waters of Plymouth, and stare into each other's eyes.
She loves me as I love her, but I do not know how much love there is.
She loves God as I do as well, and her words bring me peace.
My words are mysterious, but she loves them still.
Our love is of God, and he is protecting us.
Forever.

--- My love is great, and God is with me. To my Juliet.

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THE NIGHT DREAMS
The night is deep, and seems to last a thousand years, yet I am not with fear.
The dark of night soothes my soul, and puts me at peace.
My thoughts are not that of the night, but of love.
She is there in my mind, and also in my heart.
I know her not, yet I know her face, a face of wonders still to come.
I reach out for her; try to touch her beautiful face, but she is gone.
Not gone from my heart, but gone from me, banished to face a new life.
A life full of mystery.
I wish her well on her long journey.

--- To all who seek love. Are you looking for the right love? They might just be under your nose.

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FEAR
My anger is intense, and thickens with every passing moment.
A brick wall has been built, and grows taller everyday. I have been banished to an eternal darkness, but I fear not.
My Juliet is helping through my time of transition, and I am happy.
There is a fire that sparkles in our eyes, and God is with us.
My anger may be thick, but I do no harm, for I am a man of words.
These words comfort me in my times of need.
My sadness is seen in my face, but I do not hide it. My emotions are fierce in my eyes.
My ignorance is held inside me, but it may soon explode.
My life is a puzzle; a maze of endless halls with no end in site.
Only my love for God, and my Juliet help me on this life's path.
I am mysterious in many ways, but nothing is more mysterious than my soul.

--- To my Juliet. Thank you for helping me through my stress.

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PERFECT
Of all things I have learned, never have I been happier as I am today than any other period of my life.
True, I have seen things that would make people unhealthy, and I have done things I would not usually do.
But one thing that people should remember is that we are all human, and we all know that humans are not perfect.
So, if someone claims to be a perfect man, or woman just remember that not one human being is perfect.

---Nous ne sommes pas parfaits.

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CONFUSION
What is this confusion that haunts me?
I am lost in an evil darkness, and no end is to be found.
What is causing me so much pain?
I seek for answers, but none are to be given.
I feel like I am blind, yet I have no blindness.
My eyes are open wide, but all I see is darkness.
Why will this darkness not go away?
Yet again no answer is there.
Inside I am screaming, but outside I am like brick.
My prayers are long, but I hear no light in my thoughts.
Forgive me God, for I have sinned too many sins.
I do not deserve to see your face, but you reach out and grab my hand.
You are full of love.
A love for me, and every man, woman, and child.
You warm my soul with your presence, yet I do not feel it.
I feel so much hate, but why?
No answers come to me again.
I feel I have been betrayed, yet I know I have not.
I pray for many things, but mostly I pray for peace in my soul.
Please help me with my thoughts.
That is all I ask.
Is it not a simple task?
I need answers, and I have none.
When will this madness end?
I pray soon.
Very soon.

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THE UNSEEN FUTURE
I have been betrayed.
I know not the reason why.
It seems to me that my life is hell, yet I know it is not.
All my years I have traveled far, and I have seen things that only the wise see, Yet as I look back on my life I see endless times where I had the opportunity to change and I did not.
I am ashamed of who I was, am, and will be in the future, and I know that the darkness seeks me out.
I have no fear, for I am in the great light, and it shall forever protect me.
I am a man.
A man of words, not strength, yet I am strong.
Those who meet me understand me not.
I am a man of mystery.
A man of wonders still to happen.
No emotion has me in its teeth, yet I am content.
I know not of my future, but pray for wondrous things.
Love sees me not, yet I am full of romance.
I know love will strike me down, and when it does, I am complete.
Cupid's arrow is a mystery.
Some say it is romance, yet others say it is pure love.
If it is, I welcome it.

--- I am a poet, plain and simple.

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ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS
What can I see in people's eyes?
What is it in their eyes that make them who they are? I am full of questions, but I do not know what answers may come.
Rains pour down on my days of love, and it is all calm on days I am alone.
Many friends have stabbed me in the back, but a few hold me up.
I know not of what may occur in the future.
I have many prayers, but mostly I pray for love in my life.
I have been alone for my whole life.
Will I be alone forever, or will this loneliness finally end?

--- My life is a maze, but where is the exit?

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MAN OF WORDS
It has been some time since I have been happy.
I know not the reasons why.
I have had such hell in my life, and now I feel empty.
I have had joy, grief, anger, and sadness.
As I look back on it all, I am in tears.
My future is bleak, yet I pray for wonders.
I see not of my future, but of my past.
It haunts me ever so.
I have been alone for my whole life, and now I am alone again.
My words are the only thing that brings me comfort.
I have but one friend, yet I am content.
I am a man of words that flow from me endlessly.
I have no strength to go on, yet I am without fear.
I have traveled on this endless path of life without fear, so why should I fear now?
I shall forever remain a man of mystery, for I am full of passion.
A passion for the pen.
A passion of endless words that bring people comfort, pain, and sadness.
I am a poet.

--- To my friends. I have traveled this far to find you; why do you hide?

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QUESTIONS
Questions.
That is what I am full of.
I always have a question that I need an answer to, but I never get one.
My life is so full of unanswered questions, and I grow tired of asking.
My life has been one of mystery, and I know not what the future holds for me.
Many things have happened to me.
Things of joy, and things of pure sadness.
Am I insane?
For I ask so many unanswered questions.
My life is one big question, and I wonder if any question will be answered.
Will this madness ever end?
Another question at which I have no answer to.
Questions.
So many questions.
I only can do one thing, and that is to pray for answers.
Mysterious things have happened to me in the past.
I hope something happens, and that my questions are finally put to an end.
Life is so full of mysteries.
You never know what's going to happen next.

--- I love my life, no matter how bad it seems.

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BROKEN TRUST
Where is the trust?
You trust a person, and tell them your secrets.
In return, you expect them to keep it to themselves, but what do they do?
They break their trust, and tell of your most personal secrets.
They stab you in the back, yet they claim to know not of what they did.
They are foolish, for they were entrusted and they destroyed all trust.
They are damned.
May God have mercy on their souls.

--- To Colleen. You have been betrayed. You are in my prayers.

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IN TIMES OF NEED
I know not of what the future holds for me.
It seems to be in darkness, yet I know it is not.
My life is filled with light, and it always has been, and it always will be.
True my life has at times been hard, but everyone has hard times.
All I needed to do is ask God for help, and he is there for me.
Many times have I had so much pain that I cried out to God.
It has been a while since I have cried, but when I feel I should I do.
The light is greater than anything mankind has ever created.
He has so much love for us, even though most would rather spit in his face.
It makes me angry to see people curse at the holy name of the lord.
He is the protector, and no harm can come to me, for I am in his great arms.
He holds me in his arms, and he will never let go.
I am in tears, for I am in joy.
This joy lasts forever.

--- "I am the way, the truth, and the light. No one comes to the father except through me." John 14:6

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POE
He is a dreamer.
He enjoys death, yet he is so full of life.
He is mysterious, full of energy, yet he knows not of his dark ending.
As a man, he is strange, and full of mystery.
As a poet, he is a man of ideas.
He has had a dark life, and he cannot wait to pull the dagger from his chest.
He is not afraid to die, and laughs in the face of danger.
He is a true man, misunderstood by most, but a man still.
His name shall forever remain a name of words.
He is a real poet.
Edgar Allan Poe.

--- To all the poets of the world. Keep writing.

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PRAYER
There is a time for prayer.
Even when you don't want to.
If you have anger for another, then pray for peace.
If you have pain no matter how painful it is.
Pray.
God hears you.
If I may not be able to be there, God will always be there.
I pray for you, and you pray for me, and God hears us both.
He loves you more than I ever could, but I can still pray.
Prayer will never die.
Never let go of that fact.

--- To Andrea. The power of prayer lasts forever.

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THE PAYMENT FOR WAR
The air was filled with the sound of pure joy.
Millions of people wept as they heard the news.
Their sons were coming home.
Even as people laughed and cried, one man sat alone in his office.
He was not one of them, for he had no family, or friends.
Indeed he was happy for others, yet he did not feel that he should be there.
He felt responsible for the deaths of thousands of soldiers that had gone to war.
He was not able to die with them, for he was not of their year.
He is from the future, and he knew he had caused the war.
As he sat in his office, he slowly stops all movement.
He has paid for their lives with his own.
He is the true friend.

--- To all men and women who go to war for their country. God bless you.

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THE CLOUDS ARE CRYING
Rain represents my tears.
It cries for me. My soul is crying, but my face is not.
The night is my thought.
There is no evil in the night darkness.
This darkness calms my pain.
Pain is seen in my face, but I try not to hide it.
Why should I hide such a pain?
I had a home to call my own one day, but then it was lost.
The pain is now gone somewhat, but it is going to take time to fully heal.
God is with me, so I have no fear.
Now when I see rain I think...
The clouds are crying.

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THE PEACE IN LIGHT
The music puts me at peace.
It calmly plays and soothes my soul.
It fills the room with utter love, yet I hear it not.
For my heart is shattered, and shall it forever remain so.
I pray not.
I pray of endless wonders that last forever.
I pray of joy.
I pray...
I pray.
I think of her, and I am at peace.
I am alone, yet I am not. I am afraid, but as I look back on my life, I see wonders that have happened, but I do not understand this fear.
The fear of death is not an avoidable thing.
I fear it not, for I see the light, and the light is the protector.
Forever, and ever.

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THOUGHTS
What is it that I am looking for in my words?
They bring me no comfort, no pain.
What is it then that brings me to write these words? What in these words will help me any?
I don't have an answer, so go ask someone else.
I hate answering these questions, as do I hate answering all questions.
The words before your eyes are my thoughts.
My words last not long, and I don't care how long they last.
I miss the one I love very much, and hope to see her soon, but I know not when I will see her next.
I am a prisoner in my sibling's home, and I cannot leave.
I sit here and write these words not knowing what lies outside these walls.
Many a time I have been alone, and I must face my life alone now.
The heat of these walls burn on my face, and it is very hot in here.
I feel no coolness, only utter heat.
The night will not be a quiet one, for it burns so badly.
I write upon a piece of paper that lies in my lap, for I cannot use my desk if it not be here.
I sleep upon a bed of air, yet the air is hard.
Music plays in my ears, yet I hear it not for my thoughts are of her.
I have but one small companion, and it is of my family.
My body aches, but I cannot do anything to stop the pain.
My soul is crying out to God, and he hears me.
I have many a prayer, but mostly I pray for love, and freedom.
I write this not to anyone, but to everyone.
I have but a picture to see my love by.
Why must I go through such hell?